11:14p.m.: So I just finished Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris a few days ago, and I’m about 3/4 of the way through Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling. I.e. I feel like I need to start writing again. Sexual adventures have been few and far between lately. Had a date with a guy who said “the p word” instead of pussy, even after the first thing I said to him was “I love your fucking car!” Clearly, not meant to be. I’ve been hanging out with a guy for the last few months, and we’ve become great friends, but I think he might be secretly in love with me. Shig. I’ve been talking to some random Tinder fellows who are far enough away to not have to worry about seeing them in public but still fun to talk to. All in all, I’m not really interested in being in a serious relationship right now or even dating anyone for that matter. So yay for being selfish and ingesting ridiculous amounts of books, movies, and TV shows.
I wonder if I could write something funny. Or moving. Or poignant. Now that I’m out of college and in the wonderful working world, I can write about whatever I want. (cue 2 month writer’s block). Writing about anything you want is fucking hard! How do you pick? I guess the best thing to do is just ramble aimlessly about sex and other things until I become hilariously amazing. I tend to think about how genius the guys who write South Park are. They somehow manage to perfectly satirize every relevant current event and make it fucking hilarious. Or what about Seinfeld? They literally wrote a “show about nothing” and made it one of the funniest, timeless sitcoms of all time. After reading the chapter in Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? about her experience as a writer on The Office, I think that sounds like a dream job. She describes being a comedy writer idealistically in which you “essentially sit and have funny conversations about hypothetical situations, and you are rewarded for originality of detail” (111). Like wtf. What could be more awesome than getting paid to do that. Do I have what it takes to do that for a living? Probably not. But hey, hobbies are fun too.