Day One – Again

9:01p.m.: After almost a year, I’ve started having writing withdrawal, so here I am again.  I’ve had a hand full of sexcapades, but none worthy enough to recount – so I might as well start fresh.  I’ve fallen into a comfortable form of singledom.  The kind that makes you perfectly fine with sitting at home watching Sex & the City without obsessing over who is or is not texting me.  It’s also the kind that makes you go over to Bowling Green’s house in your pajamas without makeup on to watch Wes Anderson movies, but that was last night and like I said – starting fresh.  I think my single comfort might have something to do with work.  I’ve been hellaciously busy, especially since I got promoted, which has allowed me to focus my energy there instead of on lame-as-fuck dudes.  But since that’s what’s fun to read, let’s get to it.

First off there’s Used to Be (and apparently still is) Obsessed with Me – We dated in high school and I was dumb enough to try and date him again a few months ago.  He’s really got no motivation in life, didn’t go to college, and is generally all around lame-as-fuck.  The only reason I mention him is because he is still texting me and Snapchatting me despite my continued and unfaltering disregard.  So fucking annoying.  Tonight’s line was “Your gorgeous and I miss you” followed swiftly by “You are perfect” – the your/you’re thing is one of my ultimate pet peeves. Like this could get any more annoying.

Second there’s Bowling Green – Remember him?  Well he moved back home, and he’ll be here til August.  We hang out once like every 3 weeks, maybe not even that often.  Watch a movie, end up making out like crazy, but I always leave without having sex with him because a little birdie told me he might have a Valentine’s Day if you know what I mean.  Anyways it totally freaked me out, and I wouldn’t dare ask him, so I just keep making out with him because it’s just so damn good.

Third there’s Chicago – We also dated in high school for like 5 seconds, never had sex, but found a mutual adoration for the movie Garden State, which is still one of my favorites and possibly part of the reason why I still like him.  He’s gone and made something of himself, web developer at Sears. Anyways we randomly started texting each other again recently, but the last few days we haven’t.  He got really weird and said he had all this pent up frustration from when we were together? Wtf.  Anyways I like talking to him, and it was fun having someone to flirt with all the time. But if shit gets too weird, I’m out.

Fourth No Longer F No Longer WB – How could I forget? Anyways he’s changing back to F but still no B.  We did hook up a couple weeks ago – amazing as always.  But I’m not falling down that fucking rabbit hole again.  If the sex happens again fine, but absolutely no feelings this time.

Fifth.. Make Out Friend – I’ve been friends with this kid since high school.  Never been attracted to him ever.  Then he comes home for the summer right after graduating but just before moving to his 65k a year starting position job in Cincinnati.  Hot right?  Anyways one day I was just like holy shit I think I’m crushing on him. And then we made out.  He tried to push it further, but I had a gut feeling it would be horrible if we did, so I didn’t.  We made out again a couple times.  Now he’s all moved away, but he’s already come back once, and I’m sure he’ll be back again soon.


Well I think that’s all of them.  Hopefully I can get a new player in soon.  Shit’s getting boring.


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